How Hard It Is to Dream the Big

---

🎤 How Hard It Is to Dream the Big 

How hard it is
to dream
the Big.

Not just big dreams.
But the Big —
the kind you can’t explain without choking on it.
The kind that swallows comfort whole.

From the beginning,
I never knew how to shrink.
Never learned how to think small.
How to fold myself into
the shape of enough.

I never fit.
And I never wanted to.
I stood still—
while the world moved on—
holding the pain
of leaving people behind
who couldn't carry
the Big
with me.

I've lost a lot chasing the Big.
Time.
Skin.
Love.

Restless for it.
Dying for it.
Numbing myself
just to keep chasing it.

And now I ask—
have I forgotten how to cherish?
Have I forgotten how to feel?

Because there’s no shelter
under this rain.
No warmth
when the Big is pushing
and pushing
and pushing me—
blind.
Numb.
Empty-handed.

I’ve forgotten what the world tastes like.

I’m not like others.
I wasn’t made to taste the Big of the world.
I was made
to bring a new taste
of the Big.
To cook it with my bones.
Serve it raw.

Every day—
I leave a piece of myself
on the altar
of what I don’t yet have.
What I might never have.
What’s still
so far
ahead.

I just hope—
that those who taste it
know
how hard it is
to never taste.

To still dream the Big
is to lay a part of yourself
bleeding
on a plate—
and call it a vision.

Dreaming Big?
That’s not hard.
But how hard it is
to dream
the Big.

---